#OurPresident & accurate caricature of this Nasty Nation.

I’m a native of a nasty nation whose president is a pure reflection of how nasty we really are.

In the grand scheme of things, if this were a baseball game, we’ve been out since we got in.

Strike 1: We slaughtered the Natives.

Strike 2: We went to Africa, bought & brought people back on a boat like cargo (not even like animals, like cargo!) & just to be nice, I’ll include the Civil War (a war between humans (demons) who want to control other humans(slaves) like property & humans who want to be treated like humans) as part of this strike. If each tragedy had it’s own strike (internment camps during WW2, ‘domestic’ terrorism, Salem witch trials, lynching, & did you know Kenneth Boss, who killed unarmed 23 year old Amadou Diallo was promoted to sergeant? Soon Zimmerman will be spokesperson for Neighborhood watch…), I would be using a different analogy.

Strike 3: Segregation.The 3rd strike has to be separate but equal. So, after these humans who were your property raised your children, cooked your food, cleaned your house, picked your cotton, tobacco, some other third thing, took your rape, bore your children (after being raped), & finally said they want to live like humans, YOU decide that they can live among you but now they must be separated? They must be kept a part from you when you eat, party, go to the movies, grocery store, church, you name it, you need a separate one for whites? Slavery wasn’t enough. The war wasn’t enough. Your thirst for dominance can never be quenched.

Now, what makes America a Nasty Nation? The fact that we continue to celebrate every 4th of July. The fact that we honor the armed forces who carry out the tradition of killing & brutalization in other countries. The fact that people say Freedom isn’t free as if natives asked to be slaughtered & Africans asked to be enslaved(also, you’re paid to be in the armed forces). The fact that our president vows to make America great again and no one has told him America was never great for everyone. The fact that we have the Statue of Liberty but men are paid more than women & we no longer want Mexican or Muslim immigrants. The fact that saying grab her by the pussy and having 2 baby mothers and an un-american born wife do not automatically disqualify you from being president (if you love America so much, why not marry an American? is all I’m saying, I have no problem with an English as a second language 1st Lady but for her to sit by & watch Green Card holders be detained is horrific.) The fact that most people don’t know that the Democratic party was PRO slavery and the Republican party were abolitionist and somewhere along the way things changed. The fact that when slaves were freed they did not receive a free trip back to Africa or counseling or anything to get their post-slavery life started. The fact that Native Americans live on reservations. The fact that my grandmother was alive during segregation and her mother was alive during all that blatant racism. The fact that people will disagree with me even though facts don’t change based on how you feel.

To be clear, I started school in 1997 when I was 4 and I finished in 2014 when I was 21; ignorance is not my thing. I still have a lot to learn but with all the hatred in this country, I don’t want to keep digging.

What I intended to post was: As a Black child, I’m gonna keep it a buck. I’m gonna keep it real. Y’all gonna teach me that humans from my land bought and enslaved humans from Africa and didn’t free them until they revolted. Then y’all segregated them until they went to court. Now, you want me to believe that another country has evil people? I’ll believe it when I see the slave ships come to port…The thing is America is the terrorist. They terrorized my ancestors and before I leave a country my ancestors helped build, I will reveal the straight evilness they keep trying to cover up with 4th of July (The day Whites were free from England & said Whites owned people aka Slaves) and MLK day (a civil rights activist whose family won $100 in a civil case against the USA for his murder).

I don’t hate White people but dammit they have so much power it’s sickening. They benefit from the oppression of my ancestors and so many others, it’s disgusting. They hate for no reason. Do you know what it feels like to feel hate from your own country for no reason? Do you know what it feels like to be a Native of such a Nasty nation?

Still don’t think Donald Trump is the living representation of America? Well, that’s because you’re an American who hates Trump, but you probably also celebrate the 4th of July, what’s your deal? You may hate to admit it but, after the 8 years of nice & charismatic America, we’re now faced with the real nitty gritty America. Remember the Great Gatsby & the American Dream. Well, Trump is the Greatest Gatsby of them all, living the dream with his name on buildings all across the country & now living in the White House but most of all believing in his green light: money. However, there are very few Nick’s in this story. We see who Trump really is, and we feel powerless against him.

I am not a registered voter. I just pay taxes. I don’t participate in any other way because the entire system is corrupt. You cannot fix a system that you continue to uphold by participation. Four year will pass and the Electoral College will still be here. I don’t waste my time at the polls because my vote has no effect on who occupies the White House. I think people vote to feel like good citizens. But, being an American , you’re born bad. I’m positive the only reason I was born here is because my family didn’t have enough money to get the hell out. & if they did have the money, I wouldn’t be here writing this post about how the president finally represents America in it’s true light.



Special Project

Maybe I should explain why I said I’m Chewbacca.

I work in a call center and I was assigned to a special project in the Mail Room. That meant I would be off the phones and I was super excited.

We started out in the Mail Room but then we were relocated to a smaller conference room. It was very intimate and there were 10 of us. We sat there sorting through return mail, prepping it to be scanned into the consumers’ accounts. We were welcome to listen to music but, due to my Eustachian Tube Dysfunction, I can’t really use headphones without getting a terrible ear ache. So I sat there and for once I socialized with my co-workers.

I never ever talk to co-workers.

I work in a call center talking to strangers all day long, and it’s a thankless job. So, when I finally don’t have to talk, I chose not to. Someone mentioned how people who work in my building are stuck-up and don’t talk.

I said right away, “Yea, that’s me. I hate talking to people because I’m required to talk 8 hours a day. I need a break.” They understood where I was coming from. But as time went on, I began to open up more and talk with them.

We were able to laugh and joke about a lot of things. At one point, we were all given stripper names. Now, I think stripper names are highly inappropriate to give out at work, even if we are not doing our regular jobs. Also, there was usually someone from the Mail Room supervising us. But, nonetheless, we were given stripper names like Cherry Thunder, Fire Cracker, Bunny, & Magic Mike. At one point, they tried to tell the main supervisor I had a stripper name & I had to shut it down, “Do not tell anyone I have a stripper name. I don’t think that’s appropriate for work. You can tell them yours, but do not say I have a stripper name. I don’t.”

So, the special project was set to run for the entire month of March 8am to 4:30 which was a great improvement for me from my regular 8:30 to 5 shift.

I didn’t make it past the 2nd week.

On Tuesday, March 15th, we were scheduled to have a meeting at 9:30am. Our supervisor told us the meeting would run for about an hour and would go through our regularly scheduled break, which was 10 to 10:15. Since we would miss our break as a result of the meeting we were told to take our break after the meeting from 10:30 to 10:45.

The meeting lasted from 9:30 to 10am.

So, when we got on the elevator to return to our special project, about 2 people said, see you at 10:45! I explained to them that I didn’t think that was correct as our break should only be 15 minutes and the meeting ended early. 3 people pretended not to hear me, and another 3 saw the logic in what I said and returned to the conference room.

After everyone returned to the room there was a lot of tension. For one, it appears the idiots went & told on themselves. So, when they came back to the conference room they were grumbling about how they answer to their supervisors and they don’t have to explain themselves to anyone. So I said, “you do know we were assigned to this project by someone right? We don’t work for ourselves, we’re working for the mail room” or something along those lines. Again, they pretended not to hear me.

So, a few hours later, almost everyone was in the talking mood again, except for two to three people who were listening to music. So, Magic Mike proceeds to start making fun of his hairy cousin, “This dude is so hairy he has hair all over, on his hands his arms, it’s so disgusting. He’s like Chewbacca. One time he grew this beard & it was just like woah oh my God (he made gestures with his hands to indicate it was long and wide” Eww he needs to shave that off, he needs to get rid of that, were some of the comments said by others during the story. & here’s the kicker, “I tell him all the time, your mom must have cheated because you have Black people hair.”

Of course, one of the girls who was grumbling because she took a 45 minute break and got in trouble when I told her we were not supposed to do that starts laughing hysterically, “Oh my God he said Black people hair ahhahahaha” she said it more than once.

I was not amused. So I said, “just to clarify, you’re saying Chewbacca hair is like Black people hair?” & Magic Mike responds, “That’s exactly what I’m saying”

& it was so weird because he wasn’t even one of the people who took a 45 minute break. & as soon as I asked, Ms. OMG he said Black people hair started sighing all loud as if to say, way to ruin the joke you annoying POS (did I mention this is the same idiot that busted out laughing during the mail room training when the trainer told us, in regards to lifting large boxes of mail, “always size up your load,” real mature).

Anyway, I was so upset, I started to cry. I gave him a chance to clarify his comments, & he was unapologetic. These white people talking about Black people hair was way out of line. Especially since I was the only Black person in the room without a full sew-in. I’m au-natural all the time & I took offence to those remarks, especially when she kept repeating he said Black people hair. So I left the project and returned to my desk. I told my friend it brought me to tears because that’s really how people think of us, like we’re animals, or less than human. There is no reason you should be talking about Chewbacca and Black people hair in the same context. Just describe the hair without comparing all Black people to your gross hairy cousin that you’re making fun of saying he needs o get rid of his horrible disgusting hair. Also, you may find it crazy but Black people don’t have the same kind of hair, just like White people don’t have the same kind of hair. Maybe this is Black people hair? Or maybe this is what he meant by Black people hair?

Maybe I overreacted, but my feelings were hurt. What did I do to deserve that kind of remark and when is something like that ever appropriate to say? (Maybe when you’re at the bar, drunk, with your close friends but, even then it’s not ok.) Sorry but you don’t know me like that to make offensive hair jokes when I’ve only sat next to you for like 7 days.

I did feel bad when I explained what happened to my supervisor. To be fair, I brought up Stevie Wonder’s parody Instagram page and we all had a good laugh.



In honor of my great hair day (I have a curly bang!) I was inspired to overcome my tears with some ratchet raps lyrics.
Back Up Off Me by Dej Loaf would be the instrumental,
“I’m Chewbacca b!tch,” is really all I had now that I think about it. The rest were Dej Loaf lyrics,
“Pu$$y don’t be disrespectful.”
Still very powerful. Maybe something with less profanity? I try not to use profanity in my writing as it’s an indication I have not masted the English language. Also, my family is very religious. If they heard me talk uncensored, I’m not sure they would believe their ears. But you have to agree profanity is pretty awesome sometimes. It feels good to say bad words!

I’ll update this if I ever go off on the track.


What is African American?

(drafted 3 years ago)

I love to discuss issues if social justice. As a young Black woman I have a lot of thoughts on being Black in America. I don’t identify with being African American because let’s face it, if you ship me back to Africa which country would I go to? I don’t know any African dialects and I don’t claim any African flag. Yes, my ancestors came from Africa, but I don’t know where exactly so to be called African-American is a bit much for me.

My skin is brown and I am Black.



Why is a raven like a writing desk?

My first post was private and focused on the coming snow storm and the argument I had with my boyfriend about Valentine’s day that night. I don’t want this post to be about storms but about new beginnings.

I find writing to be tedious, but the more I have to write the more I want to write and the more I have to say. Does it matter if anyone ever reads my writing? Not to me. I just want to express the random thoughts that come into my head.

In other news, I have not read a book for pleasure since I read Fifty Shades of Grey. It was getting so much attention that I figured I would give it a try. Plus it was originally Twilight fan fiction and I am a Twilighter.

Now that I think back to reading it, I can’t remember the last time I read a book for pleasure. I kept thinking that the next book would be better but as I got to the last pages of Fifty Shades Freed, I knew I was wrong.

Can we just call a Vampire a Vampire?

Clearly Christian Grey is Edward Cullen.

Clearly Christian Grey is not stable enough to be in a relationship.

This book should have ended with Anastasia filing a restraining order and continuing with her life. But, fiction has a way with making bizarre things happen.

But I digress. It’s now 03/24/2016 and I think I began this post in like 2012/2013. Since that time I’ve graduated from College, worked for Time Warner Cable, quit that job for a position at Albany Medical Center, never even started the orientation for that job because I failed the drug test, got a job working for the Office of Health Insurance Programs through the temp agency (Accustaff), parted ways with my boyfriend/best friend/futuredaddyofmykids, got another job working for another temp agency (Apple One), moved in with my 2 good friends in Albany, went from temp-to-perm in 3 months so I now work full-time for Maximus Inc as a call-center representative, traveled to Los Angeles for the BET Experience, went to Hershey, PA for fun & to see Maroon 5 for a friends bday but she ended up going to Philly & leaving me stranded (bad planning on my part), went to my Nana’s funeral and burial which was a deeply spiritual and sad experience, but it did bring me closer to my cousins, & drew me further away from my aunts & uncles who are all equally horrible in my eyes, I again traveled to PA for the Made in America festival where I was able to see Nick Jonas, Future, Big Sean, Jidenna (Classic Man), J. Cole, Meek Mill with special guest girlfriend Nicki Onika Minaj, Fabalous (I missed him because of traffic, being drunk & thinking I lost my ticket, and some other third thing), and in a strange Godly turn WAIT, almost forgot, The Weeknd, and in a strange Godly glorious turn of events, we were able to leave before I was forced to watch Beynonce perform (although I was actually curious to see her in the flesh so I could decide if she was truly worthy. & I knew she would perform with Mrs. Onika, which I also missed), Sometime during the summer I went to the PinkPrint tour in Brooklyn at the Barclay’s center with my best friend & her sister where, before the Queen herself performed I saw Tinashe, we missed Dej Loaf because we were late, we saw Rae Sremmurd (whom I fell in love with for their hyper hits such as Throw Some Mo, Lit Like Bic, No Flex Zone (Up Like Trump which in retrospect, I still can’t decide if they were fortune tellers or what the hell because Trump is definitely up in the polls), Meek Milly (so this was before Made In America) & guest appearance by Lil Wayne.  I went to see Dave Chappelle right here in Albany at the Palace theater in October, and he was awesome, cigarette in hand the entire time, then I was totally abandoned by both roommates for their own personal reasons, went into a deep depression, lost a lot of weight due to lack of eating, spent every holiday without my family, was homeless for about a month and had to rekindle a dead flame with he who shall not be named, also stayed with friends in the area (one of whom I now live with but have to move soon because I am allergic to her smelly devil cat who refuses to leave me and my room alone even though I have two different cat repellents), finally got health insurance through my job and was able to see a doctor for the various health issues I that had been piling up since November of 2015, which is when my mom cancelled my coverage through her job because it was too expensive, and now here I am trying to gain my weight back & get out of this emotional and physical rut & hopefully win back my ex, or move on with my life, whichever God gives me the strength to do. The funny thing is this does not sum up all that I’ve been through during this time. I left out my crush on this super fly Asian who was so uninterested in me that I’m embarrassed when I think about it. I got told I would be invited to wedding but I was ultimately not invited as my friends have gotten their invitations and I have not. I had my own apartment for a year and invited my friend to live with me and became so close to her, I think she knows me better than most people. I lost my Granddad for whom my dad was named and I was welcomed at his funeral as if I were a total stranger. I disavowed my aunts because one told my cousin “don’t be a hero” in regards to protecting me and my sister should we get into a fight at a club in the city because “women start fights & expect their man to protect them.” I dressed up for Halloween for the first time in life, I was the Dark Knight Rises version of Cat Woman. I think I’ll save some of my exploits for longer detailed posts.

I googled why a raven is like a writing desk so now I’ve solved the riddle. But, as you get to know me, my unpopular opinions, and my zany antics, I think you’ll begin to see a raven and a writing desk have more in common than you can imagine before you google it yourself! But, this girl is raving mad & you better believe I’ll be raving & ranting & posting all my unposted Facebook status on this blog. I hope you’ll stay tuned.


Happy Valentines Day?

Before I head off to the One Billion Rising Event I wanted to get in a quick note about Valentines Day. (forgive any mistake! I’ll edit later)

While I was ordering some soup in the EAC I overheard this girl just trashing Valentine’s day.

Her main point was that “It’s stupid”.

“Fair point well made” as Mr. Christian Grey would say.

The truth is, what’s so wrong with a day to show love an appreciation? I’ve never had a romantic Valentine’s day but I still think people have the right to celebrate. All through High School I would make it a point to wear black on Valentines day to show my disinterest BUT I would never go around telling people to celebrate. One year, I actually made a profit selling Valentines!

So, let’s get technical.

The most personal holiday for everyone is their Birthday BUT you get older every day. Hell, you get older every second! So why is it okay for people to celebrate the 365 day mark (366 in a leap year)? What’s the difference between another year older and another month older anyway? Are you truly another year wiser? Or just another year closer to your demise? After all, no one can live forever. We go out of our way to celebrate children’s birthdays too! I find children’s birthday parties absolutely arbitrary! They won’t even remember it for themselves. They’ll only have their family showing the embarrassing pictures and reciting the tantalizing story of how Johnny was too busy crying to blow out the candles at his 3rd birthday party.

So please. Enough with the hatred on a day set aside for love!

It’s not just another Thursday. It’s not just a day to make money off of consumers. It’s not just so you can give hearts and flowers to the guy who never notices you. It’s not just a day to make people who are single feel alone.

It’s a day to share love with people who should already know you love them. A day to make someone feel special. we don’t have time to do it everyday so we’ve been given a special 24 hours to get it done!

And if nobody anywhere loves you, then at least love yourself enough to say “Happy Valentines day to me”.

After all, is not love for yourself the most important?